My Night

This actually happened to me the other night. Everything in this poem is true.

Here I Sit, Depressed And Lonely
In A Land That Does Not Want Me
Surrounded By People Who Just Destroy Me

Here I Sit On A Picnic Bench
Smoking Shitty Cigarettes
Trying To Put My Mind At Rest
I Can Honestly Say I Tried My Best

So, I Resolve To Leave This Place
I Punched My Father In The Face
Cars Zip Past In A Race
One Comes Towards Me In 1st Place

Just Assholes Trying To Be Funny
I Have Very Little Money
With $35 I Couldn't Leave The County
Let Alone This Fucking Country-

Side, Hide, Assholes Again
Throwing A Bottle At My Head
So Go Ahead And Place Your Bet
I Need Another Cigarette

I Look Up At The Stars
Also Watching For More Cars
I Wish I Hadn't Walked So Far
I Might As Well Be On Mars

This Place So Alien To Me Now
Startled By A Mooing Cow
Sweat Drips From My Brow
Someone Please Kill Me Now

And so the story goes:

I was at Mike's house for the game and my dad gets into a HUGE argument with Marsha (Mike's GF).
He's screaming at her and inch from her face. Marsha is like | | that big. And he shoves her over. Flat out on her ass.
So I punched my Dad in the side of the head. He comes after me but the girls (Marsha and Robin, My Dad's GF)
get between us and shove me outside. He's still yellin' and screaming so I take off down the road, going in the wrong direction but I didn't give a shit.

So I walk, and walk, and walk,( while walking some assholes screamed something as they went by, then, they turn around and come up behind me and scream something as they went by and turned off down another road ahead, I pass the road and they turn around again and come up next to me and throw a bottle at me and ask if I'm a guy or girl, I flipped them off and they drove away, I keep going and here they come again, straight at me. So I just stand there and they accelerate and swerve around me and I keep walking) untill I get to a stretch of road that has no lights down it that I can see. I turn around and walk home.

I left Mike's at about 9, I walked back in at 1 in the morning. I walked for 4 straight hours and my dad had gone home and I stayed at Mike's that night. Next day He drove me to school and my day was alright, untill I got home. I wasn't home 5 minutes and my Dad is screaming at me. "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HIT ME?" "Cause you pushed Marsha" He didn't like that answer much and proceeds to scream in my face. He open palm hits me, more to get arise out of me than anything, then he tried to actually punch me but I was able to block and it glanced off. I get up and kick the screen door open cause a string was keeping it closed. I go down the front yard and hes yelling at me from the porch, through this ordeal I was holding a can of pop which I threw at him at this point and stalked off. [/quote]

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Unblockable are the attacks led by the ones one used to trust.

Great poem, horrible circumstances. I can sympathize with your position, but a guy should have the right to do or say anything in his own house. You have to think psychologically, obviously your dad didn't go off at the spur of the moment, it had to have been something cooking for a while. He obviously doesn't like this girl, doesn't want her in his house and he expressed it the only way he knows how, this was almost certainly the wrong way... Why didn't he just calmly say "It's nothing personal, but I don't like you and I don't want you in my house. Find someplace else to hang out." That would have been much better instead of turning it into some kind of crisis.

I think it's up to you to be the bigger man here and talk with your dad, just say to him that if he doesn't want people in his house, he should say so instead of picking fights with them.
M.

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"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez

It wasn't his house. It was Mike's house, Marsha'a boyfriend. They were arguing about something that happened while she wasn't even there, from what I gathered. My father is not one to talk things calmly. He likes to yell incoherent things that noone understand but him, but he thinks they're keeping it from him. Thus, making him more mad.

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Unblockable are the attacks led by the ones one used to trust.

This is too complicated for me... So your dad is in another guy's house yelling at that guy's girlfriend about something that she had nothing to do with?

Yikes.
M.

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"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez

Yeah, my dad's like that.

Do You think I should upload my poem?

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Unblockable are the attacks led by the ones one used to trust.

For sure, although the database here won't showcase your talents terribly well, I'm certain you'll feel better that your creative labours have been backed up and preserved. In the future when the site is 100% you'll get everything you'd expect from a writers portal and more. I've just been so damn busy lately... I'll be free once I can get a job in China and finish my last one and a half assignments. Hopefully I'll have both within the month- and then hopefully I'll be torn between teaching, website design and finally starting the big stageplay in earnest.

I'm so scared of false starts, they can be very damaging creatively speaking... Speaking of false starts, I went to Home depot the other day and I couldn't find a single sheet of clear plastic, is that so much to ask???

Further proof that nothing is ever as easy as you think; although you seem to have a natural talent for poetry that I never had.
M.

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"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez

Well I also like to write songs, and that's actually how I started writing that one. I was sitting on a picnic bench after the assholes had their last run and started the first few lines like a death metal song. But the farther I went the more it just turned into a poem.

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Unblockable are the attacks led by the ones one used to trust.

It's all poetry without music. Quite honestly, if your heart is set on lyrics then you should find a means to get produced. Even if it's just making midis with words at this point I'd definitely go for it. At least then you can show people what you're capable of.

That's something else I've got little talent for, lyrics yes, music no. I'm hoping Writer's block will come through on that one when I have a top flight stageplay for him.

That's my means...
M.

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"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez

Every time I get together with my friends and try to get some songs going, we always just end up screwing around and not doing anything really. It's quite annoying. And it seems I'm finally getting over bronchitis and my vocals are getting better.

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Unblockable are the attacks led by the ones one used to trust.

We're all recovering from something, I can sympathize with you. I had a lot of spicy foods yesterday and I feel quite queer today, it's never upset me this badly before and I don't think it will again but it prevented me from going out when I wanted to.

I digress.

If you get together and you start screwing around then it shows there is a lack of leadership in the group, I can tell it's frustrating you. The only thing I can suggest is lead by example and do a lot of preparation and generally show you're keen.

What kind of group is it anyway?
M.

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"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez

I think it's absolutely brilliant how you can vent anger and sadness and all your negative emotions through your poetry instead of other methods such as drugs and alcohol. I personally feel the poem is too dark for my taste, but evidentally that was the overall mood and you certainly gave a sorrowful feel to it. In the first four verses the rythm seems a little broken in the last stanzas as it sounds like there is an extra syllable. I like the tone of it, the ciggarettes sort of added a sort of old black and white movie idea to me. Well, I know what I mean. But it's a good thing. I also liked the last verse. Extremely powerful.

As for your personal troubles, I don't think I'm at the stage of life yet where I can really give out any useful advice on such serious matters, but I just hope everything works out. I know how incredibly cheesy and unhepful that sounds but I just had to acknowledge that you're going through some bad times.

Good god, someone new! Although this is a private forum amongst the remnants of the NG guild, you are most welcome to join us. Although it's years old, this site is still a beta and really yet to open so we don't advertise at all. However did you find us?

Staying on topic-

I'm in the same boat, although I've been so frustrated I've worn a whole in the floor pacing about and so depressed I feel thoroughly impotent. I can't say that I've ever felt such alienation as this poem implies.
M.

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"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez

Michael, I'm Steven Rose! As in used the account UrbanAncient! Trust me! I've just forgotten my password. And have a new email address. Which is a right shame 'cause that account has the poem which won me Foyle's poetry competition. My Roar. I can't write like that anymore which is a problem. I now feel the need to rhyme. I'll have to break out of that habit.
But I digress. Don't worry, FourthPerspective took a dip, but we did have quite a strong community.

You've got so much to offer here, like the carousel feature, always loved that. It's a great feeling when you go to one of the literature pages and your piece is at that top soaking up the spotlight. And everyone gets to enjoy that feeling. I never tried kibosh. But that's because I never got what it was.
But it's good to be back.

	Quote:
	If you get together and you start screwing around then it shows there is a lack of leadership in the group, I can tell it's frustrating you. The only thing I can suggest is lead by example and do a lot of preparation and generally show you're keen. What kind of group is it anyway?

There is a lack of leadership. I think I'm usually the most prepared because I write lyrics and know the rythm I want them. We were trying to go with a more melodic death metal sound but now I'm really into the idea of an extremely experimental band. I want to try everything. Mix rap, punk, death metal, old school, black metal, basically everything and put our own unique spin on it.

Quote:

I think it's absolutely brilliant how you can vent anger and sadness and all your negative emotions through your poetry instead of other methods such as drugs and alcohol. I personally feel the poem is too dark for my taste, but evidentally that was the overall mood and you certainly gave a sorrowful feel to it. In the first four verses the rythm seems a little broken in the last stanzas as it sounds like there is an extra syllable. I like the tone of it, the ciggarettes sort of added a sort of old black and white movie idea to me. Well, I know what I mean. But it's a good thing. I also liked the last verse. Extremely powerful.

Thank you. I was extremely depressed and the words just came. I didn't even have anything to write them down on. I just kept going over it in my head and the next day I wrote it down. I very very seldom drink because I've seen how badly it can fuck people up. There is one thing I drink, and I only drink when I can get it, which isn't often because it's expensive. And even if I had it I wouldn't drink it often. Jack Daniels and Coke. Since living with my father I've gained motivation and determination not to turn into that. The only drugs I do is smoking pot. And I don't use it to deal with life, I don't even like to smoke untill like 8 at night. It's a nice way to wind down after the day. And I won't even lie, I smoke a ton of pot. But I'm making good grades, I have a job, and I don't abuse it. People who abuse drugs make people who use them look bad.

	Quote:
	I'm in the same boat, although I've been so frustrated I've worn a whole in the floor pacing about and so depressed I feel thoroughly impotent. I can't say that I've ever felt such alienation as this poem implies.

I felt so alone while living with my dad. I barely knew anyone. My day literally consisted of school, cigarettes, and music. If I hadn't had my music, I believe I would have gone insane. I was going insane anyways but it delayed the process a bit. By the last day I saw my dad I was ready to kill him. Not the- "I'm gonna kill you!" but not mean it- kill him, I mean grab a knife and drive it into his chest, murder him. I was hiding from him at the gas station one of his friends worked at and he came in and started screaming at her and if he had hit her, I would have killed him. I believe I was going insane, I had a dream where I stabbed him with a butcher knife and he died. I washed off the knife and was thinking of how to get away with it, when he stands back up and goes "So what do you wanna do?" My brain couldn't process what it created. After I woke up I could think of nothing else for half the day. It fucked with my head. I scared myself with it.

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Unblockable are the attacks led by the ones one used to trust.

You do recognise I am but thirteen right? The whole murder thing kinda creeps me out. I know this is a free forum for free speech but I'm just saying it creeps me out. Plus you're a bad example with the pot thing. Tut, tut, tut. Anyway, try avoid actually killing. That would end bad.

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Stand by me where nobody knows the way it's gonna be.

You've got some dark thoughts brewing there buddy, if I were you I'd discard them right away because hurting other people usually doesn't solve the problem and will effectively end your life in the process.

That shit isn't even in the cards man. Not an option, what is an option though is moving out, moving away and traveling around. Get your TESOL qualifications like me and you can literally get a free ticket China. That's where I'm headed at the end of the month. He won't bother you in China and it gives you something to work toward. The options are limitless.

---

Now, it's you Urbanancient is it? Pity you can't recall your passwords and such, but it's no great loss either. I'm just really happy you've returned, the place was looking a little tired without you. As you say, the site does have a number of unique bits that no one else has even considered, but the BIG one is yet to come and it's going to thoroughly clobber all the other writing sites out there, setting a benchmark of review innovation! (bwahahaha).... as soon as I can get programming arranged that is. China is a great place to look and I'm thoroughly optimistic about the future.

Congratulations with your poem and welcome back.
M.

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"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez

Always good to be back. It's nice to have a nice little pocket on the internet for people who will write in full, proper English and have culture and yet a wide variety of literature tastes. Incidentally, I've already beat my end of key stage 3 target for English. In fact I did last year. And I'm in year eight so that pleased me when I found out. Now I just have to make sure I keep that up.

We're doing Shakespeare in English at the moment. I really hate it. Not to sound like every other teenager in the world but I don't think it's good scripts or good poetry. I don't find the comedies at all humorous and I find that the speach seems very forced. Presumably because it's in verse.

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Stand by me where nobody knows the way it's gonna be.

Well I appreciate you saying so, I have big plans for this place and I've invested a large part of myself in it because I have no doubt that it will give people all over the world (including myself) a chance to be recognized as excellent writers and not just the hurried forum hacks that you alluded to. Yep, there are a lot of things going in, not just gadgets and games but real innovations that will change people's lives for the better.
Being the best shouldn't just mean you have a "1" after your name, it should be something really special and that's what I'm working on right now.

Now, enough about that. Shakespearean English eh? Why bother... Like you say, the comedies are awful and the tragedies are vague and uninteresting. Sure there are a few excellent turns of phrase and there's a great deal to be quoted to make you sound like a intellectual... Hell, I'm guilty of that, I can recite act 1 scene 1 of Macbeth word for word.

When shall we three meet again?
In thunder lightning or in rain?
When the hurlyburly's done and the battle's lost and won.
That be ere the set of sun (etc,.)

Love those witches.
M.

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"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez

I don't get why English teachers seem to have this unholy attraction to Shakespeare. If the dialogue were slightly realistic maybe I would appreciate it more, but I just don't think poetry and scripts go together. Poetry and prose works fine, but poetry is a form of narrative, therefore I don't think it's smart to use it as dialogue. However, I think the plots can be good, I recently went to see a production of Westside Story with some of my friends from theatre school and I thought it was fantastic!

It's such a shame that the government tries to force Shakespeare onto students. I mean, having to study a Shakespearian play for a GCSE should not be mandatory.

But that's all opinion.

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Stand by me where nobody knows the way it's gonna be.

Mandatory or not, if you want to get through clown school you have to occasionally take a pie to the face. Although it's good to have an understanding of Shakespeare and know what everyone's talking about- it doesn't really have much connection to modern literature. As for using poetry as dialogue... That's just something they did back then, perhaps it's meaning was far clearer back in the day but personally I think it's a tightrope between concise and cosmic.

Shakespeare is well in the latter category, too many nebulous thoughts and imagery leads to confusion.

Good to hear you enjoyed the show though, the modern productions are rather spectacular I must say and I'm aiming for a similar quality with my play. Coincidentally I was giving it a great deal of thought the other night.
M.

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"I wouldn't say abrasive. I'd rather say you're a cool soothing groove with a hint of jazz..."

-Alpheez

I don't know about you two, but I quite liked Hamlet actually. It wasn't what I was expecting and I was very surprised at it.

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Unblockable are the attacks led by the ones one used to trust.